so wow. i think this is the longest i've gone without writing on xanga.

it used to be a relaxing thing, but then with all the drama with other certain xanga users, i stopped using because i was too afraid to talk about anything going on in my life because they were cyber stalking me. but anyway.

a lot has happened this year. not much good though...kevin got in trouble again. my parents have now completely started hating him. enough that we have just slowly stopped hiding the fact that he calls me. its going to be even harder now when i tell them that we're moving in together. they think its a big mistake, but i will not back down on this. kevin is the biggest boost i've ever had in my life. and he's staying in it.

brian never got to see us before he went to england =( but meredith and zaylee were here for 2/3 weeks..they even lived with us for a while before they had to leave. zaylee is one of the cutest little babies i have ever seen in my life. i hate that they live so far away..but hopefully someday i'll be able to go visit when i have the money.

last weekend i got to go to iowa for the dorian festival at luther college. mr.seipel chose me, lindsay, eric, cody, and matthias to go..it was amazing. there were 1,400 other kids there that all had to be accepted going by their teacher's reccomendations, solo ensemble records, etc..so it was all kids that love to sing and are actually decent at it and wanted to pay attention and give it their all, unlike at our school. but it was one of the best things i have ever been a part of..the first time we rehearsed, i was so amazed..my music shook in my hands when everyone sang. when it was over it made me really sad though. it made me realize that after this school year ends, i'm not going to have the chance to be a part of anything like that ever again..not even a normal choir. its weird to think of that not being a part of my life anymore. but it was really fun..we had to stay an extra night because of snow, which was awesome because then we got out of an extra day of school. and then we had school off today and yesterday so the only day we had this week was wednesday. and next week is semester finals so it wont be hard either.

more to say..but time for bed.

<3

=) that song makes me giggle.

anynuts. since the last time i've written, kind of a lot ish has happened. but of course i can't remember it all right now.

i got accepted into winona! i'm still waiting to hear from cvtc but im leaning more toward winona anyway so im really happy about that. the only thing i have left on my prerequsite list to do is take a first aid class, which im taking through cvtc. its only two mondays that i have to go..but they're both four hour long classes which kind of sucks..but im proud of myself that im getting so much done already. i started applying for scholarships already too. i think part of my eagerness to get all this done is because its' just more steps towards moving out, but whatever...motivation is motivation.

not much has been going on with me and kev lately..my parents are still being gay, so i have to lie to be able to see him again, but kev's parents know that and they dont even care anymore. ha. they hate them too. so we've just been hanging out at his house whenever i have an excuse to be out.

our first show choir concert is on friday..and then we have another one on monday. im usually not nervous for concerts but this time i am. i have a solo so that doesnt help..but im afraid that i'm totally going to mess up my dancing or fuck my solo up really bad. i hope i dont..even if i dont do as good as i could on it, as long as i don't do bad i dont care. i hate singing in front of people by myself. but we dont really get a choice in show choir. we have practice at 6:30 tomorrow morning before school. dont really think we need it, but hopefully it will make me less nervous if we practice more.

meredith and brian are coming up the first of november =) im so excited. i can't wait to see zaylee & how cute she is. and they're staying for longer than they originally thought too! it will be just like last year again.

shower.

<3

so im better since that weekend i passed out . well..now i have a cold, but that's kevin's fault.lol. so its not just a random thing.

last week kelsey, kari and i went to sisterhood of the travelling pants 2. it was okay..i've read all the books and almost every time i do that and then go to the movies i'm disappointed. but we had fun so it doesnt matter.

i hung out with kevin last weekend on friday and saturday night after we both got off work, and then again on monday night too. my mom's been being pretty good about letting us do what we want lately. then tuesday i went to eau claire with ariel and bought kev's anniversary present =) next mondayyy! i can't believe its already been a year. it's crazy.

so basically nothing besides the usual going on..work is going really good, i pretty much know everything now. school is good as it can be i guess..chemistry is the only class i'm having trouble in but that goes unsaid lol. basically i'm completely forcing myself to pay attention and try while i'm actually just aching for it to be the end of the year already. hopefully that will get better..show choir puts a little fun in my day but otherwise i'm bored as hell being there.

but i'm convinced that i'll survive it somehow. =]

[[& you should stop using firefox to look at my page =)

like i wouldnt figure it out. stalker.]]